How I found myself and my purpose: Tan Li Lian

By Shuying KeJun 20, 2016

Welcome to the fourth in our series of personal success stories, where community members share their journeys of personal growth and life transformation, catalysed by coaching. Read stories of people just like you and me, who have overcome struggles and gained confidence to live the lives they truly want.

Li Lian was a successful manager at a Fortune 500 company and one of the top 10 percent of female veteran marathon runners in Singapore. Her love for challenging herself also brought her much worldly success, especially in the realm of physical achievement. Despite her outer achievements, Li Lian knew that something was missing. 

So began Li Lian’s inward journey to find herself and her purpose in life. Through coaching, Li Lian found what really mattered to her. She realised that underneath all the achievements, what she really wanted was a better relationship with her family.

Li Lian had always been close to her dad, but because of the generation gap, she had never had an intimate connection with him. Things got worse in 2009, when her father had a stroke that rendered him immobile and unable to speak. Li Lian felt that she was drifting away from her father, and knew she would regret it if she wasn’t able to express her love for him before he passed on. The problem was compounded by her own depression.

Through coaching, Li Lian managed to overcome her inner turmoil. She regained her connection to herself started to love herself again. She began to see a beauty in her father she had never seen before. She was also able to open herself up to him, to express the love she had always had for him. Even though her father still could not speak, the connection they felt was beyond words.

Li Lian’s father had come near death a few times, but had not been able to let go. After Li Lian reconnected with her father, she felt a new sense of peace in him, reflecting the peace she had found within herself. One fateful morning, Li Lian’s father made his final expression of love. He smiled radiantly and touched Li Lian’s face tenderly as she left for work. By evening, he had passed. That was the last time Li Lian saw him face to face. It was his way of bidding her farewell.

In connecting with herself, Li Lian was able to rekindle her connection with her father, bringing peace and completion to the father-daughter relationship, and facilitating her father’s final release.

Li Lian was so inspired by coaching that she is now a life coach herself – catalysing positive change in herself and the people around her.

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