Should You Go On A Second Date?

By Purnima BalrajuJun 22, 2017

Couple on a first date

Second dates are just as important as first dates (just less unnerving). This is when the both of you dive deeper into the conversation. You get to know the other person’s dreams, what their family is like, favorite tv shows and so on. Second dates mean that you found something you liked in the other person and you want to know MORE.

Ladies, how do you decide if you want a second date? Here are the signs to help you decide if you should text him back for coffee next weekend. Our relationship coach, Angela Tan, gives her expert advice so you can decide for yourself if he is worth the second date. Angela coaches her single clients to help them be better communicators in a date. Men, if you want to know how to get beyond the first date, Angela’s tips will help you secure that second date:

A man walking his girlfriend home

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Find Out What That Means to Me)

Ladies today are looking for a little respect. Scary brand of feminism aside, what most of us want is a man who shows that he can treat you like an equal. If on the first date, the guy demonstrates that he listens to you and accepts physical boundaries, you should definitely give him a call the next day. What does respect mean today? Angela shares a scenario, “the guy offers to send you home, but you express that you’d like to go by yourself. If he doesn’t push for it, he is someone capable of giving you the freedom of personal time”.

You can’t be sure that he is a keeper. But you know that this man has a good upbringing. Such a guy is definitely worth the second date.

Can He Handle Moments of “Crisis”?

No one wants a person (yes ladies, this applies to you too) who panics during a crisis. Steady and calm, you know this person is dependable. So if a man stresses out over spilled wine on your dress, skip the dessert and go straight home. “A guy with an ‘I got this’ attitude has a sense of manliness and security”, says Angela.

Nothing can be more attractive than a guy handling the situation and taking charge in moments of crisis.

Couple going out for drinks

Is He ‘Too Thrifty’?

On your first date does he split the bill right down to the last cent? Worst is he didn’t want to go Dutch, but would calculate by what you ate! “These little things exhibits that he is very particular“, says Angela. Can you handle someone who is too focused on the smaller and seemingly insignificant things in life?

 

BONUS: Obvious Signs To Know NOT To Go On a Second Date

Just in case he ticks the right boxes on the first date and you can’t wait for the second date. Wait! The following are deal-breakers. If he does any of them, you should not even bother with the second date.

  • Staring at your cleavage.

This is an unconscious action, so despite his supposed good manners, he only cares about one thing (and it has nothing to do with your mind). Sure, you can take it to be that he is attracted to you physically. But on the first date?!

  • Mansplaining.

There is a difference between paraphrasing what you said mansplaining. Watch for the tone. If he sounds condescending and patronizing, then you know he does not truly respect your intellect.

Waiting for a response

  • Lack of response.

If after the first date his replies starts getting shorter or he takes 2 to 3 days to reply you, it is an indication that it is time to nip this in the bud. Another situation is where he may have asked you out on a second date but it takes him more than 2 days to get back to you on where and when to meet. Perhaps you can save yourself the trouble and focus your energy on things that make you happy.

 

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