- the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.
- the capacity or ability to direct oneself.
Imagine your life as a sheet of blank paper. Who is writing on the paper? Do you have control of what is being written? Is it the dreams that you made happened, the adventures that you undertook, words and feelings that came straight from your heart, and ultimately, the destiny that is your life that is being written? If you are not the author of your life, someone else is: your boss, your spouse, your parents, your alpha friends, and of course, the random course of events in life.
Power often is defined as the ability to influence others. However, at the end of the day, there is really only one person to master control over: the Self. To have control over oneself is a seemingly simple task but this is where the real challenge lies. It can be as simple as do you have the will to wake up without hitting the snooze button at least once or twice? Do you have the courage to say out what is truly in your heart? Are you constantly stepping out of your comfort zone? Are you in real control of your life and where it is going?
Gaining Personal Power Over Oneself
In order to gain power, we have to first gain power over ourselves. Here are your three quick tips:
(1) Keep Putting Your Courage To The Test
Are you more courageous today then yesterday? Courage is similar to a piece of muscle, we need to exercise it often – and harder – to maintain it and to get better.
Recently, I was invited to give a governmental talk on building business globally. On the same panel were a CEO of a listed company and a private equity manager of a multi-million dollar fund. I questioned myself if I have what it takes; truth is that I felt shaky. I almost didn’t show up for the talk. But I know that this is just a test that I have to go through and I did! I aced the talk. Few days later, I was invited back to be a potential governmental advisor on a business project that is being launched. If I had given into my fear, I would have missed this opportunity.
So please ask yourself this: are you giving yourself a real stretch, or are you just getting by?
Allow yourself to be a greater person. What is your next act of courage?
(2) Know Your Stuff
Self mastery can also be done through the process of honing ourselves in a specific domain. Remember Karate Kid? The two key words that underlie mastery are love and disciple. To love is to have passion for what you do. To have discipline is to keep “doing your work”. Combined together, it is connecting to your driving force (read: a lot of work) to reach the freedom of your highest expression. It doesn’t matter what you choose to dedicate yourself in, it can be hardcore, technical stuff like conducting brain surgeries to building model planes. It can also be soft skills like singing to becoming an expert negotiator. I love pushing my limits, I also love opening new worlds to young people, these past few years that I have spent working on my public speaking has allowed me to reached to so much more people that I could ever imagine, and I’m still working on how I can keep improving.
Bring out the best in you. We are like uncut gems that need the cutting and polishing to make us shine. So what are you inspired to be a master in?
(3) Being Authentic
This is about being real, being able to lead life with personal integrity and the freedom to be you! The fewer masks we need to put on, the more space we allow ourselves to grow, guess what, it really speaks of our ability to handle the people and world around us. Are you able to say “No” if needed, or assert and speak your mind freely? It also means if you can allow yourself to be vulnerable and show your true feelings and softer side. I remember going to a friend and telling her all my secrets and guess what? We became better friend within an hour than we ever have in 15 years.
Embrace yourself before you can truly embrace others. Ready for the world to meet the real you?