It’s a Hard Life – Does It Have to be This Way?By Purnima BalrajuMay 06, 2017
We all experience hardships in life. But why do some of us go through them more often?
We find certain things blocking our paths to success, we keep making the wrong choices over and over again, we face problems with letting go. Perhaps you lie awake at night, unable to sleep, or you can’t seem to control your emotions.
Life is predictable in the sense that almost all of us have gone through these experiences at least once in our lives; stuck between a rock and a hard place or in a really bad situation without knowing what to do. The frustration and pain that comes from banging your head against an invisible wall can take over your life, causing your emotions to rage unpredictably.
It is at times like this that we must look within ourselves; discovering our true potential and inspiration. When we feel stuck we either don’t know how to move on or we lack inner motivation. Happiness comes from within and so does motivation. Does our journey in life have to be this hard? A lot of times, the difficulties we face in life has a strong connection to our childhood experiences while growing up.
How does my childhood affect my experiences today?
Newton’s third law states that for every force there is an equal and opposite reaction force. On the other hand, the theory of everything states that all matter is connected by quantum physics. Using these theories, we know that for every experience or ‘external trauma’ we suffer in our everyday lives, there is an equal reaction we suffer internally. These internal traumas give rise to different archetypal figures within us, such as the Child, the Parent, the Devil, etc. However, the one figure that causes us the most grief is the Shadow.
Who is The Shadow?
The Shadow is the part of us we suppress the most, sometimes because we dislike it or it is a part of our personality we would rather not acknowledge. But, like every problem in life, ignoring it will not make it disappear; instead, it remain in our subconscious and emerges when we let our guard down. This is why our dreams are so important. Our dreams serve as indicators of issues that plague us. It also holds the key to why we remain stuck in life. This feeling of being stuck then manifests as sleepless nights, poor performance and explosive emotions.
Ignoring the Shadow might work when everything in life is going well. But how rarely does that happen for any of us? The conditions shouldn’t be bad for us to investigate our internal environment; it should be a constant process. Our strengths are tied to our weaknesses.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
The Shadow defines our wants, it is our comfort zone. But when the Shadow becomes too large, rather than protect you, it becomes our limitation. That is when we feel stuck or stagnant in life. In suppressing the Shadow, our energy gets drained. This wastage of energy also makes you physically weak and your Shadow escapes by way of your emotions, thinking and body language. An angry person or an emotional person need not blame the outside world. The issue is within. But so is the answer. The proof is in the definition of “truth”. What is true must be applicable universally. However, what makes one person angry does not necessarily make everyone alive angry. So, how can it be an external truth? It is more likely something internal.
Are you a seeker?
An angry person can avoid triggers, but that is a ‘band-aid’ solution, which does not solve the problem. Wouldn’t it be better to remove the trigger altogether? Arnold Mindell explains a thought process that we use through coaching to identify these causes and helps the seeker resolve it. But, first things first, the seeker must have the courage to delve into the Shadows and face them head-on. Through our coaching strategies, participants ‘awaken’ and become more internally conscious. With our skills, they tap into their subconscious and resolve the issues plaguing them at the core.
The next step is finding fulfilment. Our coaches will work with you to help you discover what you are good at and what skills you have been gifted with. It is through this ‘gift’ that you will be able to grasp fulfilment in life. However, this is not all. These ‘gifts’ must be developed because otherwise, you once again fall into the trap of feeding the Shadow. Why leave your potential untapped when it can benefit you and the people around you? It is not about maximizing your potential, it is about unleashing it. We all have the maximum potential within us, it’s just being limited by the issues we ignore.
So, how far can you go?
After all, “the meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”
Found your gift yet?
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