My Secret to Being Happy

By Purnima BalrajuJun 06, 2017

Coaching program on achieving happiness

It takes more than just putting a smile on your face.

Society places too much focus on being happy, rather the meaning of being happy. When a friend looks sad, we automatically ask “what’s wrong?”. Being happiness has become a natural part of our learned behaviour. So much so that a lot of us do not stop to think, what is ‘being happy’? It is definitely more than just a smile on one’s face.

Being happy is about one’s contentment with life – an acceptance of your situation. Think of it as the emotional state’s equivalent to enlightenment. Before we even address the secret of being happy, it is important to know what is making you unhappy. Addressing that helps in paving the pathway to happiness. Different people have their own unique experiences in life. This means my road to happiness could be vastly different from yours. It is a common misconception we make when we read self-help books or take advice from our heroes.

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Another major mistake we make is viewing happiness as black or white. We try to categorise our experiences into two dichotomies – right and wrong, good and bad. We feel a diverse range of emotions on a spectrum. Rather than boxing up ‘happy’, it is important to perceive that being happy can take many forms. That being said, happiness to me, is a choice. A conscious decision. A deliberate preference to letting go. That is the one point a lot of self-help books agree on.

sad child

How to be Happy

What is my secret to being happy? Letting go does have a lot to do with it. Happy people are a special group who have mastered this art. One of the many reasons why we can never find happiness is that we constantly compare ourselves with our peers. Who has the better job, the higher salary or the happier family. In the process, we forget what it is like to be ourselves while we worry about our situation.

Here are some aspects of our lives to let go:

1. Letting go of what others think about you

Getting approval from others restricts you from being yourself. This self-imposed constraint prevents you from living the life you were meant to lead. Placing yourself in a cage for the sake of approval is unhealthy as you lose sight of who you are.

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2. Letting go of the future problems

Being prepared is great. The problem is when you want to control every aspect of your life, including the future. Which is why a lot of us worry about what might happen instead of focusing on what is happening right now.

Worry less about the future – you may never know if it will come to pass. So simply relax and allow things to take its course. You will be happier for it.

3. Letting go of comparing yourself

We are all made differently, with unique backgrounds and experiences. Yet we cannot help compare ourselves to one another. The culture of rivalry is an unintended consequence from a meritocratic society. So why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Seeing other’s level of success and comparing us to them is not going to keep us satisfied with our current job, relationship status and life itself.

There you have it. The three major ways to be on your way to being happy. But remember, you need to master the art of letting go. That is my secret to being happy.

What are some of your secrets to being happy for finding your path to happiness? Share with us in the comments section below!

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